托福習(xí)作當(dāng)今世界最偉大的變革會(huì)不會(huì)發(fā)生在我們的時(shí)代

1、Comment[p1]:拼寫Comment[p2]:soon和anyofthem連著用給人一種指代不明的絕對(duì)化感。soon全文重復(fù)太多，沒有變化Comment[p3]:拼寫Comment[p4]:拼寫Comment[p5]:拼寫Comment[p6]:拼寫Comment[p7]:過分Comment[p8]:復(fù)數(shù)Comment[p9]:拼寫Comment[p10]:HaveComment[p11]:第三點(diǎn)你更多談戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)的歷史，而較少論述為什

2、么不能短時(shí)間消除，明顯偏離論點(diǎn)了。Comment[p12]:不妨模擬名句”有志者事竟成”結(jié)構(gòu)：wherethereareinequalitydifferencegreedthereare…….ThemostimptantproblemsintodayswldwillbesolvedinourlifetimeDisagree.Inmyopinionthemostimptantproblemsintodayswldareenergycris

3、ispolutionswarssoon.Idontthinkanyofthemwillbesolvedinourliftime.Firstasfenergycrisisweallknowthatthemainsourceofourenergy:fossilenergyisbeingusedoutinafewcenturies.Peoplearetryingtheirbesttosearchfsubstituteenergylikesol

4、arenergynuclearenergywindenergysoon.Howeverexceptfnuclearenergyalltheothernewenergiesarejustinexperimentalstagefarfromlargeapplication.fulldevelopedtechnologiescannothavebreakthroughinonlyacentury.Eventhenuclearenergywhi

5、chhasbeenputintorealproductionhasdeadlyweakness:itsnotsafe!TherecentHukiishimaNuclearDisasterisanexcellentcaseinthispoint.Secondconcerningtheproblemsofpollutiondamageofecosystemsthesituationhasdevelopedtoaseriousstagetha

6、tpresentdamagesneedthoussofyearstorecovernaturallyevenwithhumantechniquestheprocessstillcannotbefinishedincenturies.TheExxonValdezOilSpillinAlaskaisanexcellentexample.In1989theoilcarge“ExxonValdez“hadanaccidentneartheWil

7、liamPrinceBeachinAlaska37thoustonsofcrudeoilspilledoutinthatareakilling30thousanimalsinafewdaysincludingsealswhalesseabirds.Theenviromentconsequeseofitisdramasticlysieousthateventodaythenumberoflocalsalmonhasnotrecovered

8、toonethirdbefethedisaster.Scientistshaveclaimedthatthedamageofthisaccidentwillnotrecoverinafewcenturies.Lastbutnotleastthemostseriouspoisonofmoderncivilizationsiswar.Eversinceourcivilizationfmedwarhasbeenwithus.Totallyth

9、ereareover14thouswarsinhistywhichmeanshumanfight2.6warsperyearonaverage.AftertheSecondWldWar10millionpeoplehavediedinthewarafterWW2.CanwesolvetheproblemofwarinourlifetimeTheanswerIthinkisNo.Whenthereisequalitydifferenceg

10、reedtherearewarsthoseComment[p13]:如何結(jié)尾可以適當(dāng)加一些具體的措施性建議，則更符合西方文章whatwhyhow的實(shí)用風(fēng)格。thingscannotbemerelyeliminatedbymoderntechnologysciencetheyneedtheimprovementofhumanethicscivilization.Allinallitissimplebigtalkdaydreamtosolv

11、ethemostimptantproblemsinmerelyacenturyoftime.Thereisstillalongroadtogoenmousefftstopaybefewefinallybuildawldwherealltheseseriousproblemsarefinallysolved.Westillneedtobuildoursocietyinameharmonyequalstructuresearchfsolut