frineds第一季劇本

1、Season11of38Pages101TheOneWhereMonicaGetsaNewRoommate(ThePilotTheUncutVersion)[Scene:CentralPerkChlerJoeyPhoebeMonicaarethere.]Monica:Theresnothingtotell!HesjustsomeguyIwkwith!Joey:Cmonyouregoingoutwiththeguy!Theresgotta

2、besomethingwrongwithhim!Chler:AllrightJoeybenice.SodoeshehaveahumpAhumpahairpiecePhoebe:Waitdoesheeatchalk(Theyallstarebemused.)Phoebe:JustcauseIdontwanthertogothroughwhatIwentthroughwithCarloh!Monica:Okayeverybodyrelax.

3、Thisisnotevenadate.Itsjusttwopeoplegoingouttodinnernothavingsex.Chler:Soundslikeadatetome.[TimeLapse]Chler:AlrightsoImbackinhighschoolImstinginthedleofthecafeteriaIrealizeIamtotallynaked.All:Ohyeah.Hadthatdream.Chler:The

4、nIlookdownIrealizetheresaphone...there.Joey:Insteadof...Chler:Thatsright.Joey:Neverhadthatdream.Phoebe:No.Chler:Allofasuddenthephonestartstoring.NowIdontknowwhattodoeverybodystartslookingatme.Monica:theywerentlookingatyo

5、ubefe!Chler:FinallyIfigureIdbetteranswerititturnsoutitsmymotherwhichisveryveryweirdbecauseshenevercallsme![TimeLapseRosshasentered.]Ross:(mtified)Hi.Joey:ThisguysayshelloIwannakillmyself.Monica:AreyouokaysweetieRoss:Ijus

6、tfeellikesomeonereacheddownmythroatgrabbedmysmallintestinepulleditoutofmymouthtieditaroundmyneck...Chler:CookieMonica:(explainingtotheothers)Carolmovedherstuffouttoday.Joey:Ohh.Monica:(toRoss)Letmegetyousomecoffee.Ross:T

7、hanks.Phoebe:Ooh!Oh!(ShestartstopluckattheairjustinfrontofRoss.)Ross:Nonodont!Stopcleansingmyaura!NojustleavemyauraaloneokayPhoebe:Fine!Bemurky!Ross:IllbefinealrightReallyeveryone.Ihopeshellbeveryhappy.Monica:Noyoudont.R

8、oss:NoIdonttohellwithhersheleftme!Joey:youneverknewshewasalesbian...Ross:No!!Okay!WhydoeseveryonekeepfixatingonthatShedidntknowhowshouldIknowChler:SometimesIwishIwasalesbian...(Theyallstareathim.)DidIsaythatoutloudRoss:I

9、toldmomdadlastnighttheyseemedtotakeitprettywell.Monica:OhreallysothathystericalphonecallIgotfromawomanatsobbing3:00A.M.“IllneverhavegrchildrenIllneverhavegrchildren.“waswhatAwrongnumberRoss:Sry.Joey:AlrightRosslook.Youre

10、feelingalotofpainrightnow.Youreangry.Yourehurting.CanItellyouwhattheansweris(Rossgestureshisconsent.)Joey:Stripjoint!Cmonyouresingle!Havesomehmones!Ross:IdontwanttobesingleokayIjust...IjustIjustwannabemarriedagain!(Rache

11、lentersinawetweddingdressstartstosearchtheroom.)Chler:Ijustwantamilliondollars!(Heextendshishhopefully.)Monica:Rachel!Rachel:OhGodMonicahi!ThankGod!Ijustwenttoyourbuildingyouwerenttherethenthisguywithabighammersaidyoumig

12、htbehereyouareyouare!Waitress:CanIgetyousomecoffeeMonica:(pointingatRachel)Decaff.(toAll)OkayeverybodythisisRachelanotherLincolnHighsurviv.(toRachel)ThisiseverybodythisisChlerPhoebeJoeyyouremembermybrotherRossRachel:Hisu

13、re!Ross:Hi.(TheygotohugbutRosssumbrellaopens.Hesitsbackdowndefeatedagain.AmomentofsilencefollowsasRachelsitstheothersexpecthertoexplain.)Monica:SoyouwannatellusnowarewewaitingffourwetbridesmaidsRachel:OhGod...wellitstart

14、edaboutahalfhourbefethewedding.IwasintheroomwherewewerekeepingallthepresentsIwaslookingatthisgravyboat.ThisreallyggeousLamaugegravyboat.Whenallofasudden(tothewaitressthatbroughthercoffee)SweetnLoIrealizedthatIwasmeturned

15、onbythisgravyboatthanbyBarry!thenIgotreallyfreakedoutthatswhenithitme:howmuchBarrylookslikeMr.PotatoHead.YknowImeanIalwaysknewlookedfamiliarbut...AnywayIjusthadtogetoutofthereIstartedwonderingWhyamIdoingthiswhoamIdoingth

16、isf.(toMonica)SoanywayIjustdidntknowwheretogoIknowthatyouIhavekindadriftedapartbutyouretheonlypersonIknewwholivedhereinthecity.Monica:Whowasntinvitedtothewedding.Rachel:OohIwaskindahopingthatwouldntbeanissue...[Scene:Mon

17、icasApartmenteveryoneistherewatchingaSpanishSoaponTVaretryingtofigureoutwhatisgoingon.]Monica:NowImguessingthatheboughtherthebigpipeganshesreallynothappyaboutit.Chler:(imitatingtheacters)TunaeggsaladDecide!Ross:(inadeepv

18、oice)IllhavewhateverChristineishaving.Rachel:(onphone)DaddyIjust...Icantmarryhim!Imsry.Ijustdontlovehim.Wellitmatterstome!(ThesceneonTVhaschangedtoshowtwowomenoneisholdingherhair.)Phoebe:IfIletgoofmyhairmyheadwillfalloff

19、.Chler:(reTV)Oohsheshouldnotbewearingthosepants.Joey:Isaypushherdownthestairs.PhoebeRossChlerJoey:Pushherdownthestairs!Pushherdownthestairs!Pushherdownthestairs!(Sheispusheddownthestairseveryonecheers.)Rachel:CmonDaddyli

20、stentome!ItslikeitslikeallofmylifeeveryonehasalwaystoldmeYoureashoe!Youreashoeyoureashoeyoureashoe!.todayIjuststoppedIsaidWhatifIdontwannabeashoeWhatifIwannabeaapurseyknowaahat!NoImnotsayingIwantyoutobuymeahatImsayingIam

21、ahaItsametaphDaddy!Ross:Youcanseewherehedhavetrouble.Rachel:LookDaddyitsmylife.WellmaybeIlljuststayherewithMonica.Monica:WellIguessweveestablishedwhosstayingherewithMonica...Rachel:Wellmaybethatsmydecision.WellmaybeIdont

22、needyourmoney.Wait!!WaitIsaidmaybe!![TimeLapseRachelisbreatingintoapaperbag.]Monica:Justbreathebreathe..thatsit.Justtrytothinkofnicecalmthings...Phoebe:(sings)Rainsonrosesrabbitskittens(RachelMonicaturntolookather.)blueb

23、ellssleighbellssomethingwithmittens...Lalalala...somethingnoodleswithstring.Theseareafew...Rachel:Imallbetternow.Phoebe:(grinswalkstothekitchensaystoChlerJoey.)Ihelped!Monica:OkaylookthisisprobablyfthebestyknowIndependen

24、ce.Takingcontrolofyourlife.Thewholehatthing.Joey:(comftingher)heyyouneedanythingyoucanalwayscometoJoey.MeChlerliveacrossthehall.hesawayalot.Monica:Joeystophittingonher!Itsherweddingday!Joey:Whatliketheresarulesomething(T

25、hedobuzzersoundsChlergetsit.)Chler:Pleasedontdothatagainitsahriblesound.Paul:(overtheintercom)ItsuhitsPaul.Monica:OhGodisit6:30Buzzhimin!Joey:WhosPaulRoss:PaultheWineGuyPaulMonica:Maybe.Joey:Wait.Yournotarealdatetonighti

26、swithPaultheWineGuyRoss:HefinallyaskedyououtMonica:Yes!Chler:OohthisisaDearDiarymoment.Monica:RachwaitIcancancel...Rachel:Pleasenogothatdbefine!Monica:(toRoss)AreareyouokayImeandoyouwantmetostayRoss:(chokedvoice)Thatdbeg

27、ood...Monica:(hrified)ReallyRoss:(nmalvoice)Nogoon!ItsPaultheWineGuy!Phoebe:WhatdoesthatmeanDoeshesellitdrinkitjustcomplainalot(Chlerdoesntknow.)(TheresaknockonthedoitsPaul.)Monica:Hicomein!Paulthisis..(Theyarealllinedup

28、nexttothedo.)...everybodyeverybodythisisPaul.All:Hey!Paul!Hi!TheWineGuy!Hey!Chler:ImsryIdidntcatchyourname.PaulwasitMonica:OkayummummIlljustIllberightbackIjustgottagoahgoah...Ross:AweringMonica:Change!Okaysitdown.(ShowsP

29、aulin)Twoseconds.Phoebe:OohIjustpulledoutfoureyelashes.Thatcantbegood.(Monicagoestochange.)Joey:HeyPaul!Paul:YeahJoey:Heresalittletipshereallylikesitwhenyourubherneckinthesamespotoveroveroveragainuntilitstartstogetalittl

30、ered.Monica:(yellingfromthebedroom)ShutupJoey!Ross:SoRachelwhatreyouuh...whatreyouuptotonightRachel:WellIwaskindasupposedtobeheadedfArubaonmyhoneymoonsonothing!Ross:RightyourenotevengettingyourhoneymoonGod..NonoalthoughA

31、rubathistimeofyear...talkaboutyour(thinks)biglizards...AnywayifyoudontfeellikebeingalonetonightJoeyChlerarecomingovertohelpmeputtogethermynewfurniture.Chler:(deadpan)Yeswereveryexcitedaboutit.Rachel:Wellactuallythanksbut

32、IthinkImjustgonnahangoutheretonight.Itsbeenkindaalongday.Ross:Okaysure.Joey:HeyPheebsyouwannahelpPhoebe:OhIwishIcouldbutIdontwantto.CommercialBreak[Scene:TheSubwayPhoebeissingingfchange.]Phoebe:(singing)Loveissweetassumm

33、ershowersloveisawondrouswkofartbutyourloveohyourloveyourlove...islikeagiantpigeon...crappingonmyheart.Lalalalala(someguygiveshersomechangetothatguy)Thankyou.(sings)Lalalala...ohhh![Scene:RosssApartmenttheguysarethereasse

34、mblingfurniture.]Ross:(squattingreadingtheinstructions)Imsupposedtoattachabracketythingtothesidethingsusingabunchoftheselittlewmguys.IhavenobracketythingIseenowhimguyswhatsoeverIcannotfeelmylegs.(JoeyChlerarefinishingass

35、emblingthebookcase.)Joey:Imthinkingwevegotabookcasehere.Chler:Itsabeautifulthing.Joey:(pickingupaleftoverpart)WhatsthisChler:IwouldhavetosaythatisanLshapedbracket.Joey:WhichgoeswhereChler:Ihavenoidea.(JoeychecksthatRossi

36、snotlookingdumpsitinaplant.)Joey:Donewiththebookcase!Chler:Allfinished!Ross:(clutchingabeercansniffing)ThiswasCarolsfavitebeer.ShealwaysdrankitoutofthecanIshouldhaveknown.Joey:Heyheyheyheyifyouregonnastartwiththatstuffwe

37、reouttahere.Chler:Yespleasedontspoilallthisfun.Joey:Rossletmeaskyouaquestion.ShegotthefurniturethestereothegoodTVwhatdidyougetRoss:Youguys.Chler:OhGod.Joey:Yougotscrewed.Chler:OhmyGod![Scene:ARestaurantMonicaPaulareeatin

38、g.]Monica:OhmyGod!Paul:IknowIknowImsuchanidiot.IguessIshouldhavecaughtonwhenshestartedgoingtothedentistfourfivetimesaweek.ImeanhowcleancanteethgetMonica:Mybrothersgoingthroughthatrightnowhessuchamess.Howdidyougetthroughi

39、tPaul:WellyoumighttryaccidentallybreakingsomethingvaluableofherssayherMonica:legPaul:(laughing)Thatsoneway!MeIIwentfthewatch.Monica:YouactuallybrokeherwatchWow!ThewstthingIeverdidwasIIshreddedbyboyfriendsfavitebathtowel.

40、Paul:Oohsteerclearofyou.Monica:Thatsright.[Scene:MonicasApartmentRachelistalkingonthephonepacing.]Rachel:BarryImsry...Iamsosry...IknowyouprobablythinkthatthisisallaboutwhatIsaidtheotherdayaboutyoumakinglovewithyoursockso

41、nbutitisnt...itisntitsaboutmeIju(Shestopstalkingdialsthephone.)Himachinecutmeoffagain...anyway...looklookIknowthatsomegirlisgoingtobeincrediblyluckytobecomeMrs.BarryFinkelbutitisntmeitsnotme.notthatIhaveanyideawhomeisrig

42、htnowbutyoujusthavetogivemeachancetoo...(Themachingcutsheroffagainsheredials.)[Scene:RosssApartmentRossispacingwhileJoeyChlerarewkingonsomemefurniture.]Ross:Imdivced!Imonly26Imdivced!Joey:Shutup!Chler:Youmuststop!(Chlerh

43、itswhatheiswkingonwithahammeritcollapses.)Ross:Thatonlytookmeanhour.Chler:LookRossyougottaunderstbetweenuswehaventhadarelationshipthathaslastedlongerthanaMento.Youhoweverhavehadtheloveofawomanffouryears.Fouryearsofclosen

44、esssharingattheendofwhichsherippedyourheartoutthatiswhywedontdoit!Idontthinkthatwasmypoint!Ross:YouknowwhatthescariestpartisWhatiftheresonlyonewomanfeverybodyyknowImeanwhatifyougetonewomanthatsitUnftunatelyinmycasetherew

45、asonlyonewomanfher...Joey:WhatareyoutalkingaboutOnewomanThatslikesayingtheresonlyoneflavoficecreamfyou.LemmetellyousomethingRoss.Thereslotsofflavsoutthere.TheresRockyRoadCookieDoughBing!CherryVanilla.YoucouldgetemwithJim

46、miesnutswhippedcream!Thisisthebestthingthateverhappenedtoyou!YougotmarriedyouwerelikewhateightWelcomebacktothewld!Grabaspoon!Ross:IhonestlydontknowifImhungryhny.Chler:Stayoutofmyfreezer![Scene:ARestaurantMonicaPaularesti

47、lleating.]Paul:EversinceshewalkedoutonmeIuh...Monica:What.....WhatyouwannaspellitoutwithnoodlesPaul:Noitsitsmeofafifthdatekindarevelation.Monica:OhsothereisgonnabeafifthdatePaul:IsntthereMonica:Yeah...yeahIthinkthereis.W

48、hatwereyougonnasayPaul:Welleverev...eversincesheleftmeumIhaventbeenabletouhperfm.(Monicatakesasipofherdrink.)...Sexually.Season13of38PagesMonica:(takingadrinkfromJoey)AreyouthroughwiththatJoey:Yeahsrytheswallowingslowedm

49、edown.Monica:Whoselittleballofpaperisthis!Chler:Ohuhthatwouldbemine.SeeIwroteanotetomyselfthenIrealisedIdidntneeditsoIballeditup...(seesthatMonicaisglaringathim)...nowIwishIwasdead.(Monicastartstofluffapillow.)Phoebe:She

50、salreadyfluffedthatpillow...Monicayouknowyouvealreadyfluffedthat(Monicaglaresather.)butitsfine!Monica:LookImsryguysIjustdontwannagivethemanymeammunitionthantheyalreadyhave.Chler:Yesweallknowhowcruelaparentcanbeaboutthefl