搞笑英語短劇

1、英語搞笑話劇英語搞笑話劇《孔雀東南飛孔雀東南飛》Werseveryfivemiles焦仲卿焦仲卿Johnny(Jfsht)劉蘭芝劉蘭芝Lunch(Lfsht)焦母焦母Johnny’smother(JMfsht)劉母劉母Lunch’smother(LMfsht)太守之子太守之子May’sson(MSfsht)強(qiáng)盜強(qiáng)盜Burglars(ABC)(J作被打狀跑上臺作被打狀跑上臺內(nèi)砸出一卷紙筒內(nèi)砸出一卷紙筒J被打中被打中狼狽不堪狼狽不堪)J:E

2、verybodysaysthatImhenpeckedbutinfactI’masstrongasatiger(小聲小聲)whilemywifeisWuSong.(指著上臺處的門大聲道指著上臺處的門大聲道)I’mnotafraidofyou!(內(nèi)砸出一臉盆內(nèi)砸出一臉盆J接住當(dāng)成盾牌護(hù)著頭接住當(dāng)成盾牌護(hù)著頭)ThenI’mafraidofwhomMywifeLunchisthemostfamouswomanintheneighbhood.

3、Sheisbraverthanmesmarterthanmestrongerthanme.AllthisIdonotcare.Ionlywanthertobetenderthanme.Butsheisnot!Havingawifelikethisisjustlikelivinginthehell(地獄地獄)!(內(nèi)又砸出一卷紙筒內(nèi)又砸出一卷紙筒擊中擊中J)MyGod!Whocanhelpme(下)Act1(序幕結(jié)束時(shí)序幕結(jié)束時(shí)JM作竊聽狀

4、作竊聽狀)JM(拄拐棍上拄拐棍上):Ican!(對門內(nèi)對門內(nèi))Lunch!Lunch!WhereareyouL(扎著圍裙扎著圍裙拿著鍋鏟拿著鍋鏟從門內(nèi)跳出來從門內(nèi)跳出來):I’mhere!What’supmumJM:I‘vetoldyouagainagainthatyoushouldcallme“mymostbeautifulgracefuldearestmotherinlaw”.L:OK.Mymostbeautifulgraceful

5、dearestmotherinlawwhat’supJM:Sinceyoumarriedmysonyouhavebehavedsobadly.Youhavebeensorudesobrusquesolazy……L:But……JM:Neverinterruptme!L:Neverinterruptme!SinceImarriedyoursonthatterribleJohnnyIhavebeenwkinghardalldaylongcoo

6、kingwashing.Ihaveraisedtensofthoussofpigsduckschicken……JM:Butallthoseyouhavedonearenotasvaluableasagrson!L(生氣地?fù)]動(dòng)著鍋鏟生氣地?fù)]動(dòng)著鍋鏟):Ohyouwantagrsondon’tyou(開始解圍裙開始解圍裙)Goaskyourson.I’mleaving!(扯下圍裙扯下圍裙扔在扔在JM的臉上的臉上下)Act2(LM坐在臺上打毛

7、線坐在臺上打毛線L拿著鍋鏟上拿著鍋鏟上)AB&C:Giveusallyourmoney!J(搜遍了每一個(gè)口袋，掏出搜遍了每一個(gè)口袋，掏出1角硬幣角硬幣):Is1maoenough(三強(qiáng)盜暈倒?fàn)?，接著三人聚在一邊商量三?qiáng)盜暈倒?fàn)睿又司墼谝贿吷塘?A:Whatbadluck!Thisguyisbroken!B:Ifwecannotrobanymoneytodaywewillhavenothingtoeattonight!C:Ihear

8、dthatthemay’ssonisgoingtomarryMissLiuLanzhinextmonth.WEcangorobthewedding!A&B:Goodidea!J(驚訝驚訝):WhatWhatLunchisgoingtogetmarriedIt’simpossible!AB&C:WhyAprettygirlarichmanwhatagoodcouple!J:ButLunchismywife!Wehaven’tgotdivc

9、edyet!(突然有了主意突然有了主意)I’vegotanidea!Youaregoingtorobtheweddingdon’tyouI’llgowithyou.YoutakethemoneyItakethebride.B:HaveyougotanyexperienceJ:No.ButI’vegotthis!(J脫下鞋子從里面摸出一張支票，上書＄脫下鞋子從里面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)Act5(轉(zhuǎn)眼已到了婚禮之期轉(zhuǎn)眼已到

10、了婚禮之期MS意氣風(fēng)發(fā)用紅綢牽著新娘上，意氣風(fēng)發(fā)用紅綢牽著新娘上，J蓋著紅蓋頭極不情蓋著紅蓋頭極不情愿地被拉上臺愿地被拉上臺)(J和三強(qiáng)盜躍至臺中和三強(qiáng)盜躍至臺中)ABC&J:Heyyou!Stoplistentous!A:Theroadisbuiltbyme!B:Iplantedonetree.C:IfyouwanttogobythisstreetJ:Giveusallyourmoney!(L聽到聽到J的聲音，掀起了蓋頭的聲音，掀起了

11、蓋頭)L(驚喜萬分驚喜萬分):Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到不顧一切地飛奔到J的身邊并躲到了的身后的身邊并躲到了的身后)(MS大怒，揮拳向大怒，揮拳向J打來打來J矮身一躲，矮身一躲，MS打中了打中了J身后的身后的L，L暈倒暈倒)J(火冒三丈火冒三丈):Howdareyoubeatmywife!（揮拳向（揮拳向MS沖去）沖去）(J與MS混戰(zhàn)，混戰(zhàn)，JM上，以拐杖擊暈上，以拐杖擊暈MS)(J將MS胸前的新郎標(biāo)志扯下戴在自己胸前胸前的新郎標(biāo)